The Kids' Table

I must confess: I find it challenging to enjoy meals at home with just my children. I get bored and restless, tempted to get up and check the computer or reach for a book. Of course I probably won’t be “bored” when our baby is added to the crew to be fed. Yet at every stage with children, I feel the void of adult conversation at the table more than I should.

Yesterday I read a section of a book* focused on listening to our children.


I realized that being “confined to the kids' table” can be a blessing and a joy. I needed to write a blog today to brainstorm ideas for keeping family dinners special when Daddy’s away. Some of the following are from books (see References at end) and others from experience. As always, I would love to get ideas from all of you! 

Ask open-ended questions about the day, their friends or their dreams or desires. When they need a giggle, surprise them with a silly question about you or ask whether they would rather be a chair or a table.

Use questions in a spinner game with a spinner that lands on numbers. Wade loves to spin and tell me 3 (or 7, whatever he lands on) fruits he loves, animals in the zoo, things to do outside, places he likes to go, etc. Some answers will invariably make you laugh!

Set the table differently. One of my favorite moments with campers at Camp Bonclarken was “utensil night”. It was definitely entertaining to watch each other try to eat spaghetti with tongs, a teaspoon measure, or whatever else they pulled from the cook’s drawer. My guys aren’t quite ready for this challenge, but I might surprise them some night by setting my place with the baby fork and theirs with serving forks.

 Change to a new view. If Boyce is going to be gone for a long stretch of days, I try to make one dinnertime per week a picnic. Not only do the outdoors relax us, but they give us new things to discover, even while we eat. In poor weather, try an indoor picnic in front of the best window in the house or take a drive and eat in the car if you need to!

Bring a bit of the classroom to the table. Counting exercises help pass the time for us right now, especially as we introduce 13, 14 and 15 to Wade and remind Elec that there is no “eleventeen”.  :)  I have thought I should get a book on health, nutrition and our bodies so I can better explain why meat builds our muscles, etc. too.

Bring more of the world to the table. Talk about or print pictures of what we might eat for dinner if we lived in Turkey, Japan or Spain. Include poorer countries and pray for children who do not have enough to eat. (a World Vision inspired idea)

Fill the time when the children are still eating and you have finished by keeping a children’s devotional book handy. Why not take advantage of a captive audience? I often end breakfast this way so that we get our perspective right for the day. Or, in keeping with my desire to listen to my children, get them to tell you a Bible story!

When you need a quiet dinnertime, try setting up fun listening exercises for your children. Our children enjoy listening for different instruments within orchestra music. I also like to make a crazy mix of songs from different genres to see what they like best. I will be looking for a CD of bird/animal calls to make for an equally engaging dinner game.

For the wiggliest of children, try hand games. Even without the words, a repetitive “itsy bitsy spider” motion has kept Elec out of trouble with his little hands while he chews! I can entertain myself a bit by changing the motions for him to try and follow.

Still want adult conversation? Practice hospitality. Potluck it with a friend in similar circumstances or fix a bigger dinner to host a single adult or college student. Hopefully you will both be blessed.

Now, with all these ideas, I hope I can enjoy dinners at the kids table!

*References: Being a Great Mom, Raising Great Kids by Sharon Jaynes,

The Preschooler’s Busy Book by Trish Kuffner, and 

A Positive Plan for Creating More Fun, Less Whining by Karol Ladd