Flying Formation

Since my husband is a pilot who started as a "back-seater", I tend to picture our roles as parents in that view. Most days it works out that I have to do the work of flying the plane. Since he is only with the children for an hour or so, most teaching and discipline falls to me. Ideally, he is right "behind me" providing the right heading and targets. He sees much of what I see and can help get us back on course.

In some seasons, I think the Lord has actually placed us in "single seat" jets. My husband is called off on different missions frequently, and I am left to pilot and navigate independently. Communication with him requires special equipment, and he cannot look over my shoulder to guide. He can use experience and memory and, hopefully, remain the "flight lead".

One of the hardest parts of flying F-18s is getting into and maintaining precise formation, especially while handling another flight task. I think welcoming a husband home from deployment is kind of like the joining up to formation. And managing meals and children on top of it is like aerial refueling in formation! It is extremely exciting but also requires some skill! I am attempting to remember what we learned in our "join up" that might help friends preparing to welcome their husbands home!

-Preflight
PRAY!

- Maintain a little space, but not too much!
Coming home to an excited family of four or more can be overwhelming, but I think most men are ready to be overwhelmed! We had such a joyful time catching Boyce up on all he had missed. Keeping some similar schedules can be helpful, however. Expect him to go back in to work, and keep a date with friends when he does. Just make sure that he knows that you are there for him.

- Keep good visuals.

You will learn the most about where your spouse is and what he/she is feeling by simply observing. He may not be talking well or much after being with men, men, men for months. You will be able to tell from his face and body language whether he is tired, apprehensive or ready for more.

- Make adjustments for each other.
If he moves in to put the children to bed before you, then swing back and observe. If he starts doing dishes (his way), thank him! Think through things you would enjoy doing or talking about together, but hold off if the time doesn't seem right.

- Breathe
Do not pressure yourself to make everything go smoothly. Just try to keep your plane headed in the right direction! :)

- Debrief
Celebrate good transitions, discuss desires for improvement and focus on your common mission.

And check the comments to see if others have advice. :)

Return

When your man comes back from deployment, he is the superstar of the house. His bag, his boots, his extra laundry, his man-sized appetite, and whatever time he has at home are all celebrated, not sighed over. :) After family leave time passes and his work hours build even more, it is easy to neglect the greatness of being back together. We still love our weekends together, but the short hours at the end of a workday can be tense rather than thankful. Some days I neglect the greatness of his being home because he gets home late.

In Hoping for Something Better, Nancy Guthrie convicted me to think about a more serious issue of neglect. "How shall we escape if we neglect such a great salvation?" (2:3) We are saved from sin, death and separation from God. How can we neglect the greatness of God bringing us home? We grow tense over what we think we should be doing for Him or what we think He should be doing for us.

Ezra found the Book of the Law, and God's people had their own emotional homecoming with God's Word. Nehemiah, Ezra and the Levites told them to stop weeping! "Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength (Neh. 8:10)." And they had a feast and celebration with great joy.

So, today, I feel the need for weeping over my neglect and celebrating God's gift of Himself. Rejoicing in our salvation strengthens us for every other area of life. We will still fall into neglect, but we taste God's Word to hunger for that day when

"the ransomed of the Lord shall return and... everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away." Is. 51:11

We are having a Lucky Charms feast this morning and using each of the seven charms to remember the great salvation God offered to Adam & Eve, Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Joshua and David! We plan to welcome Daddy home with renewed joy (no matter what time he returns). How else can we celebrate our great salvation today?

Mission Complete

(January) How did we survive our 205 day deployment? 

Some days we floundered, fighting back fears and tears. But, oh the sweetness of God's gracious provision ruled! The influence of Christ in our squadron purified so much of the potential for pain. God kept Boyce's eyes from evil and my tongue (some days more than others) from speaking harm. The children and I have great joy in reuniting with our leader. Lucy flirted and giggled at Boyce across the dinner table after Wade proclaimed his love repeatedly and Elec declared, "Taking Daddy home with us is the best thing ever!"

Looking ahead, we do not know what lies before us. But, we have a greater understanding of the joy that will be ours when the fullness of time has come and we hear:

“It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children." Revelation 21:6-7

Hallelujah. Our God reigns.